14 Nov 2018 21:28:52
Any new quality jokes CORK to keep us entertained during the International Break?
15 Nov 2018 09:05:37
My favourite joke my son told me 18yrs ago when he was 10.
A man walks into a zoo and the only animal in the place was a dog.
It was a shitzu
Ba boom tish.
15 Nov 2018 11:21:07
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: GET OUT! No class for you for a week.
Another boy laughs.
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw both straps.
Teacher: GET OUT! No class for you for a month.
She bends down to pick up a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out.
Teacher: Johnny why are you going out?
Johnny: With what i just saw i think my school days are over!
15 Nov 2018 11:25:23
I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said "Ive not eaten for two days. " I told him, "I wish i had your will power"!
15 Nov 2018 11:25:56
My son told me one at about the same time.
What does a mathematician do when constipated?
Works it out with a pencil.
15 Nov 2018 11:34:59
I had the pub quiz in the bag the other night until the very last question. which i got wrong. The question was, "Where do woman have the curliest hair? "Apparently the correct answer was Fiji.
15 Nov 2018 11:53:38
With Harry Redknapp in the jungle, I'm a Celeb will be relegated to ITV2 by Christmas.
15 Nov 2018 11:58:14
I bumped into a cross eyed woman today and she shouted "You need to look where you're going! ". I said "Feck off, you need to go where you're looking! "
15 Nov 2018 12:15:16
Excellent stuff lads! Thank you, day brightened up no end!
15 Nov 2018 12:22:30
An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years.
The hitman says "It'll be a quick kill, I'll shoot her just below the left tit".
The husband says "I want her dead, not fecking kneekapped! "
15 Nov 2018 12:46:39
I went to the doctors today and he said I was paranoid.
. Well he didn't actually say it, but I knew what the pratt was thinking.
15 Nov 2018 19:14:20
The one that's been deleted CORK was shall we say "A Corker"!
15 Nov 2018 19:58:53
Cheers mate I thought it was quite funny as well. A strict catholic Ed perhaps?!