Leeds Banter Archive November 15 2018

15 Nov 2018 22:30:42
A warning to all you, be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers and then went onto Whiskey. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
Merry Christmas.

16 Nov 2018 00:51:09
Class Just as well otherwise you'd have got "busted". 🤣.

16 Nov 2018 15:21:24
Class, sheer class :)

15 Nov 2018 14:33:39
Proof the FA and EFL are corrupt.

Pontus 15 second rant says ref robbed us gets fine and 1 game ban.

Fast forward: Charlie Austin rants for over a minute calling the officials and the ref out for costing Southampton 2 points 4 times in just over a minute but gets off as they decide he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they should have given him some free Argos vouchers while they were at. #corruptwithnoshame.

15 Nov 2018 15:23:56
Only reinforces what we already knew Martin.

I expect they will say that "cost us" is not technically accusing them of anything but "robbery" is.

We know the truth - if it is Leeds expect different (much harsher) treatment. Probably get points deduction for Radz daring to question TV deal.

15 Nov 2018 15:42:52
Good on him for standing up to the bullies. One thing in life I hate is bullies.

15 Nov 2018 17:47:05
Appalling treatment for LUFC since the 60s, I would love to see these faceless wonders who continue to bash our Club at every opportunity.

16 Nov 2018 14:51:23
Would be better to keep Sky and get rid of the FA?

15 Nov 2018 12:16:37
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) . By Pam Ayres

The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
. T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

15 Nov 2018 13:19:58
Made me smile Southy. Well done. You will have us all forming a book club next?

15 Nov 2018 13:46:26
Brilliant!

15 Nov 2018 14:10:56
bravo!

15 Nov 2018 18:57:59
Mabel sounds hot.

15 Nov 2018 19:06:11
Excellent!

{Ed025's Note - i enjoyed that as well..

15 Nov 2018 07:31:05
Thursday joke . Paddy walks into the Halifax bank and hands over a bag of cannabis and then says I would like to open a joint account 😀ALAW.