Leeds Banter Archive January 26 2019
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26 Jan 2019 22:52:46
Two MARRIED women stagger home after a drunken night out. Passing a cemetery they both needed to pee. Having nothing to wipe with, one woman decided to take off her knickers and use them. The other, wearing very expensive knickers used a ribbon from a wreath next to a grave.
The next morning, a concerned husband rang the other. "my wife is having an affair! She came home with no knickers on! "
The other husband replied. "That's nothing, my wife came home with a card stuck in her arse saying. - FROM ALL OF US AT THE FOOTBALL CLUB. WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU! ".
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27 Jan 2019 10:08:32
Good one Phil.
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26 Jan 2019 22:36:59
Liverpool, Leeds, Luton, Lincoln! The Ls have it!
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26 Jan 2019 22:55:37
And Leyton Orient in the national league Spanish. Would have been a nice pre-season accumulator!
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26 Jan 2019 23:02:25
And Leyton Orient for the next league down.
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27 Jan 2019 07:54:20
Well spotted boys, even better!
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27 Jan 2019 09:29:42
L of a season for them all.
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27 Jan 2019 11:15:50
Mentioned this week's ago about the top 4 divisions being won by teams beginning with L, was shot down by someone saying city will win the prem. Still long way to go boys.
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27 Jan 2019 12:37:19
Citeh WILL still win the league, sorry Mezzer, but Leeds will win this league, BRING ON THE CHAMPIONS.
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26 Jan 2019 22:00:49
Next game is a must win game!
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{Ed033's Note - Or else the Milkybars are on Whiteman1. :)
27 Jan 2019 08:02:40
Personally I think yesterday was the must win game. If we win those kind of games it buys us a little insurance for the games like Norwich, which even at home are always going to be tough! They play some great football and Pukki is a real threat. They will allow us to play but they will be very dangerous when they attack. We need to take the opportunities we have and I hope Pablo can play!
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27 Jan 2019 12:38:06
They're all must win games now.
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26 Jan 2019 21:54:57
Bad news tonight
Steve “ I managed Leeds yanno” Evans sacked by posh
Which means he’s available for his LUFC insights again
His part in our glory etc.
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26 Jan 2019 23:05:08
Sacked on the same day we beat Rotherham at New York Stadium. Something he doubted Bub could achieve. Bit of irony there.
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26 jan 2019 23:35:07
steve evans should be told to, go off.
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27 Jan 2019 01:07:26
Steve Evans has nothing but respect for leeds and its fans and served us as well as he could show him the respect he showed us.
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27 Jan 2019 03:39:25
Wex Agree.
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27 Jan 2019 06:49:24
I actually quite liked the fella and how much he wanted to manage Leeds. Thought he should have had longer, just not keen on how claimed credit for everything and every signing subsequently. Ex managers should stay quiet.
Peterborough haven’t shown any class whatsoever, but then they rarely do.
He’s a good manager at that level, should be in work again soon.
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27 Jan 2019 09:31:54
And got the mighty boston united promoted to the football league in 2002 hated by some but always puts in 100 percent where ever he is very strange posh have moved him on.
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27 Jan 2019 09:58:11
He did his best in very difficult circumstances for us.
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27 Jan 2019 11:05:33
Posh continue their own off affair with spawn of Fergie . Evans is best off out of it
Shouldn’t have left the mighty Stags.
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27 Jan 2019 12:41:45
If I was (not so) big Steve I'd be looking into suing Posh. Strange how he's sacked and that no-mark walks into his office the same day.
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27 Jan 2019 13:32:04
Then again he was in the car park at LUFC waiting for the desk to be cleared so . he knows
Sadly that’s how it is a lot of the time
He’ll be back in work soon enough.
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26 Jan 2019 20:53:55
There will be no Leeds fans left at this rate - we will have all died of heart attacks. Why oh why do we have to do things this way? What is wrong with not giving a lead away or a nice comfortable 3-0?
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26 Jan 2019 21:22:52
Alf, I keep saying that we are going to batter someone 6-0, I'm still waiting and still believing. MOT.
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26 Jan 2019 21:32:07
Yes we are all ageing fast! Oh for a 3 or 4 goal lead, maybe next week.
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26 Jan 2019 22:37:35
Boring Alf, you wouldn’t be able to cope!
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26 Jan 2019 20:30:45
Just waiting for Millwall to write to the FA to admit their equaliser was a blatant handball, and although handball IS a breach of a football rule, it’s more about honouring the spirit of the game and I know Neil Harris holds that very dear in his heart.
The only reason he was screaming at the Millwall media to take it off the screen is because Neil appreciates how upsetting it will be for his other pious (10) disciples. Any day, now, Sunday post and all that but letter will be there first thing Monday, Tuesday won’t it 🤔.
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26 Jan 2019 20:51:57
Class, You could say double standard's, but, we all know Neil Harris and Millwall have the lowest standard's. We shall rise above it. Mot.
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26 Jan 2019 20:59:34
Has any other Club got away with as much as they have over the years? The leniency shown to them by the FA, and FL beggars belief.
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26 Jan 2019 22:20:52
Doubt they’ll be too busy looking into scouting gate to even notivevrte fighting before the game as FF wasn’t upset.
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27 Jan 2019 04:45:17
Harris doesn’t understand the concept of double standards. He can’t count that high.
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27 Jan 2019 10:12:38
Harris was even shouting to have the big screen turned off when the handball was being shown! No decorum whatsoever.
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26 Jan 2019 20:03:56
A man and his wife are driving home after a night out. The road is dark and there is a thud. The wife says "George, stop I think we have hit something" He gets out and says "it is a skunk and it is still alive, I will ring for a Vet" He walks over to the car holding the skunk. What did the Vet say? " she asks. "We have to keep it warm till ge gets here" he says. Well it's freezing she says, "where do you suggest? " What about between your legs, it's always warm there. "But what about the smell she asks? " You will have to hold it's nose he replies!
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26 Jan 2019 20:38:12
Classic!
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27 Jan 2019 03:41:17
Feath Great joke. Mrs Integrity 😻 the best. My name seems to be on repeat in these jokes.
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26 Jan 2019 19:13:58
I think that was a rather important 2nd half a championship football! Quite a points swing between Norwich and us! Takes a bit of pressure of The Norwich game but knowing a win at home creates a nice gap.
Roberts making an impression, he had the same impact in the second half here that he had in the first half for the under 23s.
Tougher game for JC and probably good to quell some of the expectations on him and show how he needs to keep working and developing. at Leeds!
I thought Kiko made a difference. He will need to get used to playing again, wonder when he last played twice in a week! He brings a calm authority that will only grow as he gets more acquainted with the English game.
All in all a very important and hard won result!
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26 Jan 2019 19:56:41
Didn't get to see the game Spanish. Why was he booked.
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26 Jan 2019 19:56:42
Not so sure about kiko Spanish although it was a good strike he was nowhere near a ball from over 20 yards out and flapped as well BPF hopefully first performance nerves would expect him to be a bit more settled for Norwich. I hope so.
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26 Jan 2019 20:21:05
Agreed. Much better result than performance.
Thought Tyler Roberts was brilliant. Better at no 10 than no 9. And it allowed pablo to play off the wing and have more of an offensive effect. Him coming on changed the game.
Kiko made one worldie save that gained us 2 points. Does look rusty especially with collecting from crosses but I’m sure a few weeks in he will be amazing for us. Not bad for a first appearance in a while.
I think jack Clarke needed to have an ineffective game to help him develop as a more well rounded player. If he learns to play against the physical sides this season, he will fare better in the PL.
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26 Jan 2019 20:31:11
Blatant time wasting kiwi. Right at the end of the game. I laughed when he then took a little longer to take the same goal kick he was booked for pondering over!
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26 Jan 2019 20:38:23
Kiwi, He got booked for time wasting near the end.
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26 Jan 2019 17:37:33
Good news - Extra games for Boro and Brom after FA cup draws today.
What did folk think of Casillas gk performance today?
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26 Jan 2019 17:48:20
Looked rusty to me, but made a few good claims and a worldy of a save. Good enough distribution which is vital with Bielsaball. That flapping attempt at a cross in the second half gave me the squits tho! All in all though, still think he will prove to be a gem of a signing, particularly when we are in the PL!
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26 Jan 2019 19:04:53
Brightwhite agreed mate rusty, cross he didn’t look happy,
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26 Jan 2019 17:30:10
WOW. Don't they know there are a lot of silver surfers on here. Our hearts can't keep taking too much of a battering!
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26 Jan 2019 17:48:25
Ha ha good point Tewit and I had to keep popping off for a pee too thanks to a generous supply of John Smiths :-)
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26 Jan 2019 18:05:49
Good man 2 sheds.
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26 Jan 2019 17:26:48
Really happy for klitch. Started season banging in the goals then they dried up for him but he never stopped giving 100% So a well deserved brace today will do him the world of good. Onwards and upwards ALAW.
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26 Jan 2019 17:56:53
I'm hoping he's due a hat-trick next week 😀.
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26 Jan 2019 17:59:07
Yep we certainly klich-ed in the 2nd half Martyn. 🤣🤣⚽️
Get in!
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26 Jan 2019 18:17:42
Turn the light off on your way out phil.
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26 Jan 2019 17:25:48
i hate playing against teams who get 11 players behind the ball even at home, must be soul destroying for their supporters. Good thing is I can't see Norwich coming to ER with that attitude, so game on.
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26 Jan 2019 17:42:00
2 Sheds, please change your photo. Current one makes my eyes bleed. Reminds me of an ex.
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26 Jan 2019 17:51:00
I can see why it's an ex 😎.
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26 Jan 2019 18:23:32
Tory you are kidding aren't you? They ain't even that bad from Castleford.
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26 Jan 2019 19:57:36
Martyn Perhaps Tory is a woman? After all the Tory PM is.
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26 Jan 2019 20:40:21
I'll see what I can do Tory 😂.
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26 Jan 2019 20:49:16
Good point George.
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26 Jan 2019 17:22:37
The bad points about today and that dreadful first half -
Clarke prob better as an impact player at mo
Hernandez prob better wide as a bit more space
Roofe no chance on his own and no support
We looked soft. I think someone posted Charlie Adam said this and it was obvious to see. Vinny Jones anyone? Lol.
We looked tired in most areas.
The good points-
3 hard earnt points
More urgency
MB went more offensive 2nd half bringing Roberts on to support Roofe, pablo wide and it worked
We kept going and battered them in 2nd half
Great result at carrow rd🤣🤣🤣
Rest of season-
Need 3 signings in my opinion, a 10/ forward, a wide player and a mid. We need these to support some weak legs at the mo, give existing players competition and MB the option to change things all over the park.
17 games to go. Norwich next - MASSIVE.
5 transfer days - INTERESTING
Well done players, staff and the best supporters in the land for grinding a result out today. MOT 👍.
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26 Jan 2019 17:49:47
Totally agree with all of that Phil!
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26 Jan 2019 18:03:44
Yes, good post Phil. We don't want to sign anybody for the sake of it, but a bit of quality would give the squad a boost, one or two good ones would be excellent for me.
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26 Jan 2019 18:24:35
Not much quality for sale in January tho feath.
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26 Jan 2019 18:55:56
Great post Phil, thought Roberts made the difference today and would start him over Harrison against the letter writers, mind you if Hernandez is injured as feared we may be starting both anyway. Thought JC looked a little of it today, have to remember he’s just a lad and we go again.
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26 Jan 2019 19:41:06
You are right Martyn, but you never know, here's hoping.
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26 Jan 2019 20:52:04
JC may be a bit distracted with all the headlines and rumors as well. It’s his first experience being under the spotlight so much and that must be a very odd feeling the first time. He probably feels the worlds eyes on him at the moment.
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26 Jan 2019 17:12:23
A win's a win, no matter how good, bad, or indifferent we play. Naturally it's better when we're brilliant and at our best, however, don't forget that the opposition aren't just going to roll over and let us play.
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26 Jan 2019 17:26:34
Very true Al. We weren’t good but credit to the Rotherham
players who didn’t roll over and never stopped running and working as they tried to do what stoke did last week. A wonder goal too!
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26 Jan 2019 17:50:34
Thought their Captain, Vokes, looked a handy one.
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26 Jan 2019 17:06:30
One more win and we've equalled the total points for last season. Happy days.
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26 Jan 2019 17:13:15
Nice one SS, a bit of perspective 😀.
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26 Jan 2019 18:11:57
Plus we have won 2 more games than anybody else.
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26 Jan 2019 17:02:37
Lost 5 years of my life last 5 mins with those Rham long throws and scrambles in our box🤣🤣. But hey ho 3 much needed points! MOT 👍.
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26 Jan 2019 17:15:25
Wow, Did we need that! Totally nerve shredding, but we showed character to win it. Now for Norwich!
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26 Jan 2019 17:02:03
Deserved win in the end.
But got to stop conceding first goal. Hernandez needs a rest. Ayling needs to learn to pass to a player in a Leeds shirt.
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26 Jan 2019 17:14:13
Ayling seems to have lost his passing boots a while back.
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26 Jan 2019 19:59:44
Time for Shacks.
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26 Jan 2019 16:59:11
Happy with the 3 points, but before we get too carried away, we made hard work with a result that we was expected to win. We really need to step it up and be on our game against Norwich or we will get beat.
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26 Jan 2019 17:54:56
TBH I didn't expect to win, I hoped we would win but they've had some good results at home and we had to work hard to beat them at ER. Nonetheless, we won 😁.
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26 Jan 2019 16:56:27
Seems like we do still have a "Get Out of Jail" card. Thank God.
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26 Jan 2019 17:08:42
Big win that one Leodis! Very poor 1st half, improved drastically the 2nd. 3 points for a below par performance against a side that pulled out all the stops against us, and who, I hope don’t go down based on that performance. (Yorkshire bias) .
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26 Jan 2019 17:15:48
Well said Brighty, Rovrum weren't too shabby at ER either.
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26 Jan 2019 19:16:37
Whilst there's no replacement for pure skill and talent, organisation and teamwork push it a close second Brighty. Well done on that score to Rothram (must say we helped them out in the first half tho)
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26 Jan 2019 16:19:27
Get In, now for the winner.
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26 Jan 2019 16:30:59
7 attempts one goal?
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26 Jan 2019 16:59:57
As long as we get the 3 points. !
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26 Jan 2019 17:07:51
only need one more than the oppo's Aus.
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26 Jan 2019 16:12:56
1-1 but when will we stop giving away the first goal. Recently, every game we have had to chase. You get only so many "Get Out of Jail" cards per season.
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26 Jan 2019 16:29:37
Why oh why has it taken us 45mins to get going? Game of 2 halves by the sound of it.
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26 Jan 2019 16:48:29
A cliche 2sheds, but so true. Why?
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26 Jan 2019 16:08:33
Following a predictable pattern . Bielsa teams notorious for falling apart second half of season . And we don't strengthen in jan and fall away second half of season . Put the two together and it's a disaster.
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26 Jan 2019 16:26:06
A win hear today will just steady the ship. With the players we have nearing full fitness and just one quality addition to the squad this week, I think we will be ok. Then with the transfer window closed we can concentrate on Norwich.
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26 Jan 2019 17:07:07
You were saying Mighty? 😉.
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26 Jan 2019 17:26:07
Champions find a way mighty 😉
I find your lack of faith disturbing
This is our time boys.
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26 Jan 2019 18:15:46
Hear, hear Other woody. A game lasts 90 mins + Fergie time. Judge then.
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26 Jan 2019 15:49:21
Dreadful first half from us. We just seem to have no idea how to break down teams who set up defensively when playing at home. Come on Bubba sort it out at half time.
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26 Jan 2019 15:38:24
Watching game. Loads of possession as per. Lack of urgency/ ideas. Similar to Stoke game.
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26 Jan 2019 15:37:01
Just wondering if we are planning on scoring at anytime cause most others are.
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26 Jan 2019 15:46:58
Embarrassing.
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26 Jan 2019 15:52:38
Not looked like scoring first half, very poor, really do need to improve to get anything here. Very disappointing so far.
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26 Jan 2019 15:53:00
1st shot on target in 43rd min Aus! Quite frankly that was an awful 45 mins!
Big HT team talk and changes required from MB.
Cmon Leeeeeeds!
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26 Jan 2019 15:56:32
We only have Roofe to score any goals! That alone won't get us promoted. I said it before. We need our midfielders scoring more!
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26 Jan 2019 16:02:25
Keep reports coming lads
I’m going off stats.
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26 Jan 2019 17:05:41
Klich just wanted to rub your nose hooky.
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26 Jan 2019 20:02:26
Roberts just wanted to rub yours Wex.
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26 jan 2019 23:52:29
now we are talking!
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26 Jan 2019 15:35:13
We've lost our mojo!
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26 Jan 2019 15:33:03
Maybe we can try and take a shot like that now and again wonder would BPF saved it.
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26 Jan 2019 14:42:45
Pundits not willing to criticise Fat Franks player “professional foul” actually captured as “did the right thing” funny old game!
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{Ed001's Note - that was a horrible tackle, loved John Coleman's interview after the game, really ripped into the FA and that useless fat lump Jon Moss.}
26 Jan 2019 14:58:10
As I have said before if FF had sent somebody to watch an opposing team training, his Pundit mates would have been saying how forward thinking he is!
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26 Jan 2019 15:24:32
They've had a proper Fat Frank love-in on BBC Final Score, they beat the mighty Stanley and they're wondering when, not if, a PL club will come in for him.
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26 Jan 2019 15:29:48
Ha ha
Prem clubs have more pies.
Nothing to do with his ability al.
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26 Jan 2019 15:35:38
Just seen Mr Bogle's foul, it's about time that football took a leaf out of rugby's book, give a penalty goal, and get the sinbin thingy going as well.
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26 Jan 2019 17:09:23
Aus, are you trying to say that Fat Frank's a bit on the chubby side?
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26 Jan 2019 14:20:31
Just seen our team for today, I was hoping Brown might have made the bench as we don't have a lot on it to change things. Hopefully we won't need to. We really do need 3 points today.
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26 Jan 2019 15:32:32
We need the points but getting them another matter. Harder game today than most would think. We should be putting these kind of teams to the sword.
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26 Jan 2019 13:16:29
{Ed's Note - Ed001 has posted a new manager profile about, Jorge Sampaoli
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26 Jan 2019 12:55:17
Come on the Stanley, 0-0 after 30 minutes, Fat Frank's Dirty County hoping Fat Frank has finished his breakfast in time for the halftime talk 😁.
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26 Jan 2019 13:14:13
Fat franks froat full!
Cmon Stanley.
Plllleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeee!
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26 Jan 2019 14:16:56
Fat Frank must have friends in high places, Waghorn gets away with a bad challenge like he did against us on Jansson, then they get a free kick that never was before they scored.
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26 Jan 2019 11:43:33
A bit surprised that they haven't televised Norwich v Sheffield. Would have been curious to see that mesen.
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26 Jan 2019 14:18:46
Prob accuse us of cheating if we watched it tho tory.
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26 Jan 2019 15:23:22
Martyn, you should do the comedy circuit, a little bit of pee pee popped out when I read that.
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26 Jan 2019 08:42:50
Looking at the proposed team today
Casilla, Ayling, Cooper, Phillips, Alioski, Forshaw, Klich, Hernandez, Clarke, Roofe and Harrison
I think halme should of started at centre back and Phillips in midfield . For me we are in need of some fresh faces and competition for players in the midfield area . Foreshaw and klich to me look like they need a couple games out . Hopefully Izzy brown will be a decent player for us if he ever becomes fit I'd still like 1/ 2 new signings in this window but it's looking unlikely.
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26 Jan 2019 08:59:43
Need to get back to winning ways, I can see KP scoring today along with Roofe and Hernandez 3-0.
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26 Jan 2019 10:15:27
Good to see kp score. He deserves a goal.
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26 Jan 2019 06:06:56
National Australia Day today so allowed both my Swedish au pairs to pamper me for two hours this morning. While they are sleeping the wife is making me my bacon and egg sandwich. Anyway. Back to soccer.
Don't think we will lose points. Maybe a fine.
Would still like to see fans and chairman's of the 11 teams banned from Elland Rd. Just allow manager and staff and team in.
Hoping we got too much for the Rotheram tonight and get back to winning ways.
Good to get a look at the goalie although not live here so will need you guys to give me the reports and opinion.
Hope this 17 yr old can prove himself and maybe push for first team.
Hoping we get James too. Think we will.
My fav score tonight. 1-4.
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26 Jan 2019 10:40:19
Aus how can we be fined for breaking no LAW or rules. It's like being pulled over by the police whilst doing 28mph in a 30 zone and them giving you a ticket in case you go over 30 further down the road when their not there. The efl are clutching at straws and fat Frank is clutching at burgers over this. It was just his way of trying to disrupt us before the game.
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26 Jan 2019 11:08:55
Agree Martyn but think they will wangle a fine out of breaking the championship charter we signed and then introduce a law.
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26 Jan 2019 12:27:53
Fat Frank "clutching at burgers" priceless 🤣🤣🤣.
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26 Jan 2019 14:16:30
As the dirty dozen-1 are demanding "full disclosure" we should decide who their team's best player is (almost impossible to pick one from Millwoe I know) and tell the FL that it was them that gave us inside info 😀 imagine Fat Frank's face if we said Wilson told us their team to play us 🤣.
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