Leeds Banter Archive June 08 2017

08 Jun 2017 20:52:41
whats the best thing about living in switerland? . not sure but the flag is a big plus

08 Jun 2017 22:08:02
Silly season really is in full swing! 😩🙄
Bermondsey, now I have a lot of time for you and your posts, I would like to think that we share lots of views and I'd like to one day have pint with you in the old peacock, but my friend that was shite! no other word and if you post a joke like that again I will be forced to plunge a sharp implement deep into my eyes in case I see another of your jokes!

08 Jun 2017 23:42:30
fair enough, i agree i think we have a lot of similar views and have a lot of times for you as a person and your opinions. i would love to share a pint but be warned i am far worse in person as DJ can confirm

09 Jun 2017 00:23:48
Yes he is. He's a nightmare

09 Jun 2017 00:29:23
Cheers bermo. Little ones ok? My new one wore her LUFC baby grow for the first time today. I think it looked good, others didn't agree

09 Jun 2017 12:23:29
Ha ha ha I can confirm that Bermo but you are always very entertaining with it fella! Let's catch up soon for more pints and dodgy jokes MOT brother

09 Jun 2017 12:43:39
brilliant joke BW - loving them all

08 Jun 2017 20:45:47
bet my mate 1 million pounds i couldn't build a car out of spagitti. should of seen her face as i drove pasta

08 Jun 2017 19:03:58
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck. " "I see your eyes are working, " replies the duck. "And you can talk! " exclaims the bartender. "I see your ears are working, too, " says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please? "

"Certainly, sorry about that" says the bartender as he pours the duck a pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way? " "I'm working on the building site across the road, " explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer. " The flabbergasted bartender cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the bartender says to him: "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything! " "Sounds marvellous, " says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call. "

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the bartender says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money. " "I'm always looking for the next job, " says the duck. "Where is it? " "At the circus, " says the bartender. "The circus? " repeats the duck. "That's right, " replies the bartender. "The circus? " the duck asks again. "With the big TENT? " "Yeah! " the bartender replies. "With all the animals who live in CAGES, and performers who live in CARAVANS? " says the duck. "Of course, " the bartender replies. "And the tent has CANVAS sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle? " persists the duck. "That's right! " says the bartender. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says: "What the **** do they want with a plasterer? "

08 Jun 2017 20:04:06
Top🍌

08 Jun 2017 20:31:39
love it. the wife didn't which makes it even better

09 Jun 2017 12:54:15
brilliant!

10 Jun 2017 12:45:41
Very good MM, even the wife laughed at that one and she takes some pleasing! 😨

08 Jun 2017 16:12:01
All the names mentioned Pardew etc, would have Larry back before most of them ! Not saying he is the answer but knows the league and what is needed to get promotion, good brand of football, it was only the defence that let him down, some better quality there and not being quite so gung ho would have gotten us promoted . We played some good attractive football under him, it was just the lack of clean sheets.

08 Jun 2017 20:00:17
Same problem as Mad Mick?

08 Jun 2017 20:42:19
he fancied his sister in law?

08 Jun 2017 13:40:12
Being reported that Radz wanted Wagner to take over as boss but that was scuppered when Hudds won promotion and now Radz is unsure what to do next. maybe we could sign singer/actor 'Plan B' because at least for once we would bloomin' have one.

08 Jun 2017 19:03:06
nice one Alf

08 Jun 2017 19:41:42
Alf, you're almost as positive as hardy. Thanks for cheering us all up

08 Jun 2017 12:46:33
Right. I'm sick of waiting now. Just give Pep the job in my opinion. He wants to be here, which makes a change from the last numpty we had. I like him a lot more than some of the names I'm hearing as possible

08 Jun 2017 13:33:30
Yep, me too Speedy. Might have a good rappport with the players and hopefully Woody and Magic Hat will stay. MM

08 Jun 2017 14:32:13
Not agreeing! He ok as assistant. But not main man. Yet anyway.

08 Jun 2017 14:52:31
Well Aussie. You not agreeing just strengthens his case 😁

08 Jun 2017 15:30:54
Very weak choice speedie. Liking floret though.