Leeds banter 2

 

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16 Nov 2018 13:48:39
I'm not suggesting it's looking bad for Theresa May but Paul Gascoigne has just arrived at 10 Downing Street with a fishing rod and a cooked chicken.

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16 Nov 2018 13:52:50
If lawyers can be disbarred and clergymen defrocked, this must mean electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed.

16 Nov 2018 14:38:24
How about deflowering a few florists Martyn.

16 Nov 2018 12:59:42
Izzy IN u23s today. Loving the line up, looks attack minded. In fact it looks as strong as our first team. let's see how far away from first team Izzy is.

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16 Nov 2018 15:35:50
Hammered 3-0.

16 Nov 2018 12:32:20
International break - boring boring boring.

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16 Nov 2018 08:51:05
Has anything been found with jansson's injury, hope he available for next game, if not then Phillips at Cb. If jansson fit maybe 3 at back
Jansson Phillips cooper
Douglas and Shackleton as wing backs
Drop BPF for Blackman, it's time to give him a few games, could be that commanding keeper we need.
Alioski on bench and start Clarke
Thoughts and your line ups?

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16 Nov 2018 14:49:04
No faith in Shaugnessy then Shad?

16 Nov 2018 22:02:44
Not too much, think we should have gone for foyth in Liam in summer, missed that boat.

15 Nov 2018 22:30:42
A warning to all you, be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers and then went onto Whiskey. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
Merry Christmas.

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16 Nov 2018 00:51:09
Class Just as well otherwise you'd have got "busted". 🤣.

16 Nov 2018 15:21:24
Class, sheer class :)

15 Nov 2018 19:57:06
I recently started having sexual liaisons with a blind woman. It has its challenges though. Took me ages to get her husbands voice bang on!

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16 Nov 2018 16:00:21
Another good one Cork!

15 Nov 2018 14:33:39
Proof the FA and EFL are corrupt.

Pontus 15 second rant says ref robbed us gets fine and 1 game ban.

Fast forward: Charlie Austin rants for over a minute calling the officials and the ref out for costing Southampton 2 points 4 times in just over a minute but gets off as they decide he deserves the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they should have given him some free Argos vouchers while they were at. #corruptwithnoshame.

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15 Nov 2018 15:23:56
Only reinforces what we already knew Martin.

I expect they will say that "cost us" is not technically accusing them of anything but "robbery" is.

We know the truth - if it is Leeds expect different (much harsher) treatment. Probably get points deduction for Radz daring to question TV deal.

15 Nov 2018 15:42:52
Good on him for standing up to the bullies. One thing in life I hate is bullies.

15 Nov 2018 17:47:05
Appalling treatment for LUFC since the 60s, I would love to see these faceless wonders who continue to bash our Club at every opportunity.

16 Nov 2018 14:51:23
Would be better to keep Sky and get rid of the FA?

15 Nov 2018 14:24:55
Radrizzani doing a good job of galvanizing Championship opposition to Sky deal, saying we get poor return for tv coverage and subsequent affect on attendance and disruption for fans. EFL worried.

On another note, Well dressed bloke, pinstripe suit, patent leather shoes, walking purposefully around a town centre with an upturned welly boot on his head.

Bystanders quietly chuckling and sneering etc, others contemplating with furrowed brows, mostly having no desire to approach him to satisfy their curiosity. Little old lady, curved spine and stooping over her walking stick, observes him for a while, before approaching him. "Excuse me you man, why are you wearing a welly on your head"? He replies, "I always wear a welly on my head on Wednesday". Perplexed and frowning she says, "It's Tuesday", he says, "Ferk me, I feel a right knobhead now".

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15 Nov 2018 12:16:37
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) . By Pam Ayres

The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
. T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

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15 Nov 2018 13:19:58
Made me smile Southy. Well done. You will have us all forming a book club next?

15 Nov 2018 13:46:26
Brilliant!

15 Nov 2018 14:10:56
bravo!

15 Nov 2018 18:57:59
Mabel sounds hot.

15 Nov 2018 19:06:11
Excellent!

{Ed025's Note - i enjoyed that as well..

15 Nov 2018 11:17:00
Bored. Ok. Let's think of the great games over the years.
7-0 against Southampton was enjoyable. A masterclass of attacking football.

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15 Nov 2018 11:49:35
4_3 against liverpool.

15 Nov 2018 12:39:32
That was my second choice Martyn. A corker Martyn.

15 Nov 2018 13:47:34
6-1 against the wendies in our title winning season. Gordon Watson, the diving git!

15 Nov 2018 14:15:53
1995 Leeds 3 Man Utd 1
Leeds 1 Liverpool 0 (Yeboah with THAT strike)

15 Nov 2018 19:04:23
I watched all these games a European cup semi in Barcelona and final in Paris. But the match that left me euforic and drained was the final game of the season when we got promoted. Oh and the 5 1 win against man u.

15 Nov 2018 19:08:48
The 1 - 1 draw at Barcelona in the 75 Semi-final second leg when down to 10 men was a brilliant performance. Plus the 4 - 3 against Derby after being 3 down wasn't bad either! Plus many many others.

15 Nov 2018 20:24:07
the 5 - 1 against manyoo, which, I think, was round about the 7 - 0 against Saints. Also the 3 - 1 against manyoo on, IIRC, on Christmas Eve? a few years ago …. and just for good measure, League 1 Leeds winning at the comedy playhouse :) :)

 


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