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15 Nov 2018 12:16:37
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) . By Pam Ayres

The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
. T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Southern Softie

1.) 15 Nov 2018 13:19:58
Made me smile Southy. Well done. You will have us all forming a book club next?


2.) 15 Nov 2018 13:46:26
Brilliant!


3.) 15 Nov 2018 14:10:56
bravo!


4.) 15 Nov 2018 18:57:59
Mabel sounds hot.


5.) 15 Nov 2018 19:06:11
Excellent!

{Ed025's Note - i enjoyed that as well..


 

 

28 Sep 2018 17:20:53
I'm seeing a split between my fellow LUFC supporters. Some saying a win, some saying a definite loss. Obviously we all want the win but I did want to ask (again) whether the other teams have figured us out? Especially after the Brum loss. Last time I asked I was reassured by some on here that it wasn't likely, some even comparing us to Man City, and that everyone knows how they play but still can't stop them. Man City we certainly aren't. I guess my question to those who predict a loss is this, is it because of our injuries or because teams have worked out how to counter (or negate) our attacking style? Or just a bit of both?
My prediction is a 1-0 loss with the only goal coming in the dying throws of the game.
Much love. Softie xx.

Southern Softie

1.) 28 Sep 2018 18:01:23
Fair enough that teams can park the bus and make it more difficult for us but we gave Birmingham two easyish goals that we are not going to concede in every game. We won the second half one nil! And we created more chances. I think you are right, that we have to take chances that we create in order to win those tighter games.

It’s going to be a tough game, local derby away, against a team performing well. But I think this is going to be a real insight into what Bielsa can do. He’s wounded, the team are wounded, he is showing his faith in them. Let’s see, I think it’s going to be a cracking game and we are going to win 3/ 2.


2.) 29 Sep 2018 06:18:25
Southern Softie. I think most team managers will have "figured out" Biesla's Leeds United by now. The guy isn't a rocket scientist

However, figuring out what Leeds are doing and working out a way to stop it AND actually then go on and beat Leeds is a whole different matter

Leeds are fitter than you.
Leeds are faster than you.
Leeds press you from the goalkeeper on through to your forwards.
Leeds don't hunt the ball in ones. They do it in twos or threes (notice how many times after a full on one-on-one tackle that the next player in to mop up the loose ball is a Leeds player) .
Leeds will not let their heads go down if they conceded.
Leeds do not get frustrated.

I doubt their are many Premiership managers who can "figure it out", I am certain that there are none in the Championship
(And before you say It, Monk didn't figure us out. He came not to lose)


3.) 29 Sep 2018 13:59:03
Totally agree Axe!


 

 

31 Aug 2018 21:39:14
I said a draw, clearly I'm an Oracle.

Southern Softie

1.) 31 Aug 2018 21:51:56
Prefer Ceefax.


2.) 31 Aug 2018 22:35:55
Oh, George! I wrote the same gaff, but deleted it! 😳😂.


3.) 31 Aug 2018 22:45:37
You’ll be talking about the test card on bbc2 next George.


4.) 31 Aug 2018 23:58:42
Yebo Wonder whatever happened to that little girl wearing red, was it? With the frightening looking green doll. Showing my age. Oh well. I'm only as old as the woman I feel. Still in my 20s.


5.) 01 Sep 2018 02:14:53
Think I married her George. She's still as scary too.


 

 

21 Aug 2018 19:42:13
Is anyone else worried that it won't be long before teams learn our tactics / style of play, and how to deal with us? We started last season well but ended up poorly.

Southern Softie

1.) 21 Aug 2018 20:13:20
Nope, all premier teams know Man City's tactics etc, but they execute it so well l, they still blow teams away. We need to keep it going and execute to perfection and it won't matter whether they know our game plan.


2.) 21 Aug 2018 21:58:36
no MB team differnt to TC team. MB team can play, can grind out results, fights. TC flatered to decieve against the lower team crumbled against the bigger boys and in scraps. from what I have seen I think we have it all, just need numbers in CB playing to RB at CB is never the answer at any level, but fair play we did that away aginst a in form big boy and still got a result. all reasons to be happy.


 

 

05 Aug 2018 19:25:07
I apologise unreservedly to my fellow LUFC fans. I said we'd lose today and I was very wrong. Apologies for not keeping the faith!
I'm on holiday in Italy at the moment and the heat is obviously getting to me.
UTWDTP MOT x.

Southern Softie

 

 

 

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11 Aug 2016 13:51:41
Hooray, another new owner for some people to start a hate campaign against. (Good grief! )

Southern Softie

 

 

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29 Jan 2016 12:54:56
No thanks

Southern Softie

 

 

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07 Jan 2016 08:06:39
Jeez George, what time do you get up? Posting at 4:30am! That's dedication for you!

Southern Softie

 

 

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23 Sep 2015 12:29:42
MC has said he won't be selling anyone in January, which is an interesting statement. SB would then become relatively worthless to Leeds, but will MC care? Probably not. I do think we need to replace Pearson though, but who??

Southern Softie

 

 

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23 Sep 2015 12:26:46
I agree DG, I don't like MC's mega-gob either, but I quite like him as a person, and I respect the positives he's done, and continues to do. I think we've known for a while that SB will be leaving. Best of luck to him, although he may be getting bad advice from a greedy agent?
Now, what about replacing Pearson.?

Southern Softie

 

 

 

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10 Oct 2018 11:17:06
I never knew Dickens had opinions on the modern game! Maybe we should make him a club Ambassador? The Dickens Suite?

Southern Softie

 

 

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18 Sep 2018 00:03:16
Sounds good to me Martyn 👍. Thanks also for your reply corkie.

Southern Softie

 

 

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17 Sep 2018 15:03:02
Equally, my first post on this site was after a holiday where a leeds fan from Leeds called me a southern winker when I was wearing my leeds top (In front of my 9 year old daughter) . I asked everyone then whether "northerners" (As you just phrased it) had a problem with people from the south. I was assured at the time that there was no prejudice. But comments on here seems to suggest there is a bigger problem than I thought? Shame, my mum was Leeds born and bred, but I was born elsewhere. Am I not worthy of the LUFC badge then?

Southern Softie

 

 

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31 Aug 2018 14:32:35
As long as nobody kicks the bucket eh DJ? Get it? Bucket? Because Bielsabub sits on a bucket?


OH FORGET IT!


It was funny in my head!


Seriously though. I'm worried about tonight so I'll take a draw (minimum) . I'll be nervously watching 187 miles away in Wiltshire (NOT Gods own country)

MOT.

Southern Softie

 

 

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21 Aug 2018 19:46:27
Bloody hell Alaw!

Southern Softie