Leeds Banter Archive April 10 2020
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10 Apr 2020 22:43:51
For those of you who have seen the video clips you’re very welcome.
For those that haven’t seen them I kindly agreed to eat a Big Kevs food for the foreseeable!
May need to get in and out via the patio doors at this rate, but hey it’s not about me and big (honed down) kev is looking much fitter 👍.
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11 Apr 2020 02:33:09
Noticable difference IMO.
He looks like he has the talent, if he gets Leeds fit everyone else is screwed including Premier League.
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11 Apr 2020 06:38:40
I don't get it?
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10 Apr 2020 22:42:22
JOKE OF THE YEAR?
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, All of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming. '
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature? ' Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears. '
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears? '
Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming . that was me.
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11 Apr 2020 10:29:41
Best, so far, Corky.
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10 Apr 2020 22:41:13
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump? "
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will. " The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't. " Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on! "
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money. "
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump. "
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again. "
Jack took the money.
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10 Apr 2020 22:40:28
One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share.
The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.
They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he'd sleep in the barn.
The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.
"I'm sorry, " he said, "but there's a pig in that barn and because I'm Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it. " "No problem, " said the Hindu. "I'll sleep out there instead. "
So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room.
They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu.
"I'm sorry, " he said, "but there's a cow in that barn and because I'm a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it. "
The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room.
The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door.
It was the cow and the pig.
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11 Apr 2020 06:42:38
You're lucky Ed001 didn't kick you off the site for that one Corky!
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10 Apr 2020 15:05:57
Englishman: "That your dog? "
Welshman: "Yep. "
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him? "
Welshman: "Dog don't talk But. "
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going? "
Dog: "Doin' all right. "
Welshman: (Look of shock! )
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner? " (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep. "
Englishman: "How's he treating you? "
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play. "
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse? "
Welshman: "Horse don't talk but. "
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going? "
Horse: "Cool. "
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock! )
Englishman: "Is this your owner? " (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep. "
Englishman: "How's he treating you? "
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather. "
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep? "
Welshman: "That sheeps a ****ing liar bud! ".
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10 Apr 2020 11:31:08
Battle on Norman, so many great memories - you can beat this thing.
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10 Apr 2020 12:30:53
Yep a true legend get well soon Norman you can bite the legs off this virus.
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10 Apr 2020 12:44:14
keep biting Norman. We are all marching with you. ALAW.
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10 Apr 2020 12:51:42
All thinking of you Norm, proper legend.
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10 Apr 2020 13:52:08
A Legend and a Gentleman, LUFC through and through. Get well soon Norman.
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11 Apr 2020 12:09:26
leeds legend and top player think he was the first player to win players player of the year as well? get well soon and bite covid-19's legs off.
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10 Apr 2020 09:32:37
I've just been talking to a chinese drug dealer. He asked
"Have you seen my cocaine? "
I replied, "Not since Zulu"!
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10 Apr 2020 15:00:36
Took me a minute i must admit. Hilarious!
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11 Apr 2020 08:35:39
So funny.
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10 Apr 2020 07:39:02
{Ed's Note - Ed001 has posted a new article entitled, Review Of The Day 10th April 2020
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