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29 Dec 2019 20:40:57
Costa starting to look like the player we've been missing? Ok he goes missing but when he's on he certainly on.





Corkwhite2's banter posts with other poster's replies to Corkwhite2's banter posts


10 Apr 2020 22:42:22
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, All of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming. '

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature? ' Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears. '

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.

I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears? '

Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming . that was me.


1.) 11 Apr 2020 10:29:41
Best, so far, Corky.



10 Apr 2020 22:41:13
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump? "

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will. " The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't. " Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on! "

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money. "

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump. "

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again. "

Jack took the money.




10 Apr 2020 22:40:28
One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share.

The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.

They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he'd sleep in the barn.

The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.

"I'm sorry, " he said, "but there's a pig in that barn and because I'm Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it. " "No problem, " said the Hindu. "I'll sleep out there instead. "

So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room.

They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu.

"I'm sorry, " he said, "but there's a cow in that barn and because I'm a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it. "

The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room.

The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door.

It was the cow and the pig.


1.) 11 Apr 2020 06:42:38
You're lucky Ed001 didn't kick you off the site for that one Corky!



10 Apr 2020 15:05:57
Englishman: "That your dog? "
Welshman: "Yep. "
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him? "
Welshman: "Dog don't talk But. "
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going? "
Dog: "Doin' all right. "
Welshman: (Look of shock! )
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner? " (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep. "
Englishman: "How's he treating you? "
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play. "
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse? "
Welshman: "Horse don't talk but. "
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going? "
Horse: "Cool. "
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock! )
Englishman: "Is this your owner? " (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep. "
Englishman: "How's he treating you? "
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather. "
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep? "
Welshman: "That sheeps a ****ing liar bud! ".




09 Apr 2020 15:03:03
This will brighten up your day 😂😂😂😂

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie.

She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she gave him the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a full English Bacon, Eggs, Sausage and Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cups bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words, " he said, "but what's the five quid for? "

"Well, " said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you".
"I asked him what to give you".
He said, "****-him. Give him a fiver. "

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea".


1.) 09 Apr 2020 18:35:30
That’s right up there in the top ten Cork!

Excellent 👏🏻👏🏻.

2.) 09 Apr 2020 19:12:10
top dog Corky!

3.) 09 Apr 2020 23:22:51
Good one Corky.

4.) 10 Apr 2020 15:59:11




Corkwhite2's rumour replies


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02 Feb 2020 19:44:01
Isn’t that the same at every club Woody?




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27 Jan 2020 08:11:18
You seen much if him George? What kind of midfielder is he?




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25 Jan 2020 22:16:40
I don’t know why you bother sometimes Bright!




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21 Jan 2020 20:11:20
He’s actually a very good finisher however maybe he’s past his best.




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21 Jan 2020 20:10:22
I believe we’re right in waiting. Never panic buy but obviously good to have other irons in the fire.
People are to hung up on the James deal last season.





Corkwhite2's banter replies


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04 May 2020 22:06:46
Winner, runner up and European places and not to mention finishing place prize money.




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04 May 2020 12:46:00
Couldn’t believe what I was reading earlier this morning and just logged back on to reply to original post. Ed1 has saved me the bother and most likely said it better than I ever could.
On another note I watched Rocky and Wrighty on YouTube last night and thoroughly recommend to all football fans.




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18 Apr 2020 21:27:50
Can be big headed? Where you get that from Aus?




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13 Apr 2020 14:07:14
Very well put Bielsa.




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12 Apr 2020 20:47:55
I must be getting touchy with this lockdown.
Again welcome back Mart.